R.I.P. Jail Blazers. Rip City Uprise.

The make-over of the Portland Trail Blazers is now complete, win or lose from here on in. The transformation took a few years, but it's a miracle (a bit of an over-statement) it didn't take way longer. The franchise fell into such disarray under the control of Paul Allen/Bob Whitsitt that it seemed the Blazers would be mired in mediocrity for the foreseeable future, much like the mess still in NY with the Knickerbockers. However with the acquisition of Kevin Pritchard as the GM, the Blazers have taken minimal missteps and through this management the Blazers pulled themselves back into relevancy for all the right reasons. Something which the community craved. It has been phenomenal.
So I am now officially putting the "Jail Blazers" era to bed with Portland claiming a Playoff berth, but man, those "Jail Blazers" were some interesting years. What a roster Portland managed to hobble together. I mean, what they did took some effort.
That last playoff team from 2002-03 is now legendary. Start with Rasheed Wallace and Bonzi Wells, mix in a bit of Damon Stoudamire and Zach Randolph, stir in Ruben Patterson and a little Qyntel Woods and what you have is lightning in a bottle! You could not do any better if you tried.
Some of the best "Jail Blazers" stories come from those players.
How about Sheed pulling Bonzi aside, and then riffling a ball at Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje and knocking him down, and then rolling around on the floor in fits of laughter with Bonzi. That's some funny stuff. The cool kids beaming the scrub.
Z-Bo fracturing the eye socket of Ruben Patterson, the team's Registered Sex Offender in a fight at their practice facility. Z-Bo was suspended, and Ruben racked up a few DNP due to the injury. To be fly on the wall at those Blazer practices would have been great.
Sheed's off-court misdemeanour of accosting the ref (who happened to be Tim Donaghy) in the parking garage after the game, and ultimately being suspended for a record amount of games not involving drugs or violence. Then his on-court exploits of racking up the techs. Sheed was not a great fit for Portland, kind of like oil and water.
Damon Stoudamire. Dude got caught with marijuana, three times. It's not the greatest of crimes, but three times people. The standout, being when he tried to pass through airport security with marijuana wrapped in aluminium foil. Hello.
Let's not forget about Qyntel. He got pulled over in a routine speeding stop. Cops asks for ID. Q hands him his Rookie Trading Card. Cop smells marijuana. Q charged with multiple offenses. If it only ended there for him. Q became Michael Vick v. 1.0, but lucky for him he wasn't a Superstar and his dog-fighting exploits really only got played out regionally.
Poor old coach. Mo Cheeks. Worst timing ever. Great bloke. Soft coach. Worst Locker-Room Ever. Disaster.

The only hold-over from those years is Travis Outlaw. Fitting name. He was a straight-to-the-pros in that last playoff team, so it is suprising he didn't fall foul in that locker-room. Maybe his upbringing with his father being assistant chief of police helped. Now six years later he is having a career-year as the 6th Man.

Portland. Rip City Uprise.