My definitions

NFL:
Where Aussie Rules players retire. Let's call it their 401K.
Steriods (and the like). Of course not. LOL.
Where a kicker wins games, but gets no respect.
NBA:
Where Luc Longely threepeats.
Where Brian Cardinal gets $24+ million.
Where the African-American (and the occasional white stiff, see above) C.T.C.
MLB:
Endless season.
Too many irrelevant games for irrelevant teams.
Where Hispanics have taken over.
NHL:
Hockey. WTF?
Where Europeans come to North America to profit.
BTW Miracle on Ice, who cares.
NASCAR:
Rednecks. They don't own computers. I hope:-)
NCAA:
Where us Aussies get a free ride from Americans. Suckas.
ESPN:
Easy to bitch about. We call it the Tall-Poppy Syndrome. Haters.
BCS Conferences:
Any country run this way, America would invade and (attempt) to take over.
Biggest money grab in sports.
The rich rape the poor. See Kentucky. See Memphis. I don't blame Kentucky. They just playing within the guidelines.
Unfair fucking practices!
Kobe:
How easy we forget. Puh-lease.
A perfect example of a great publicist.
Great baller.
Barry Bonds:
Misunderstood. Scapegoat. Far from perfect.
Bud Selig:
Turns blind eye. Makes money.
NCAA Play-In game:
The Opening Round game. C'mon.
Stupid.
BCS:
Computers + Sports = bullshit.
Sports live in the grey. They are played. There is a winner and a loser.
Computers live in the black and white.
Comparing teams who play completely different schedules. Epic fail.
Have a fucking playoff, you douche-bags.
NFL Rosters:
50+ players/roster, but only 11 on the field. It's a joke to anybody outside America.
It's all over-goddamn specialisation. Iron Man football is the way football is meant to played. Man up, you pussies.
Pre-Season Polls:
Fun, but potential coach-killers.
MLB Stats:
Get over them, you old fogies. Records are meant to be broken.
Every era is tainted. Don't hate on the now. Babe never played against a black man.
The White QB:
Unathletic QB's excelling by playing the system of the white coach. Should become a thing of past with evolution the coach (but that's another story).
Super Bowl:
More glitz and glamour than sport.
Focus is more entertainment than the game.
Not the way sport should be.
Tiger Woods:
Over-rated. Great player, but he's not a fucking God.
He is corporate America. Not good.
Hello, he is half Thai too.