R.I.P. Jail Blazers. Rip City Uprise.

The make-over of the Portland Trail Blazers is now complete, win or lose from here on in. The transformation took a few years, but it's a miracle (a bit of an over-statement) it didn't take way longer. The franchise fell into such disarray under the control of Paul Allen/Bob Whitsitt that it seemed the Blazers would be mired in mediocrity for the foreseeable future, much like the mess still in NY with the Knickerbockers. However with the acquisition of Kevin Pritchard as the GM, the Blazers have taken minimal missteps and through this management the Blazers pulled themselves back into relevancy for all the right reasons. Something which the community craved. It has been phenomenal.
So I am now officially putting the "Jail Blazers" era to bed with Portland claiming a Playoff berth, but man, those "Jail Blazers" were some interesting years. What a roster Portland managed to hobble together. I mean, what they did took some effort.
That last playoff team from 2002-03 is now legendary. Start with Rasheed Wallace and Bonzi Wells, mix in a bit of Damon Stoudamire and Zach Randolph, stir in Ruben Patterson and a little Qyntel Woods and what you have is lightning in a bottle! You could not do any better if you tried.
Some of the best "Jail Blazers" stories come from those players.
How about Sheed pulling Bonzi aside, and then riffling a ball at Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje and knocking him down, and then rolling around on the floor in fits of laughter with Bonzi. That's some funny stuff. The cool kids beaming the scrub.
Z-Bo fracturing the eye socket of Ruben Patterson, the team's Registered Sex Offender in a fight at their practice facility. Z-Bo was suspended, and Ruben racked up a few DNP due to the injury. To be fly on the wall at those Blazer practices would have been great.
Sheed's off-court misdemeanour of accosting the ref (who happened to be Tim Donaghy) in the parking garage after the game, and ultimately being suspended for a record amount of games not involving drugs or violence. Then his on-court exploits of racking up the techs. Sheed was not a great fit for Portland, kind of like oil and water.
Damon Stoudamire. Dude got caught with marijuana, three times. It's not the greatest of crimes, but three times people. The standout, being when he tried to pass through airport security with marijuana wrapped in aluminium foil. Hello.
Let's not forget about Qyntel. He got pulled over in a routine speeding stop. Cops asks for ID. Q hands him his Rookie Trading Card. Cop smells marijuana. Q charged with multiple offenses. If it only ended there for him. Q became Michael Vick v. 1.0, but lucky for him he wasn't a Superstar and his dog-fighting exploits really only got played out regionally.
Poor old coach. Mo Cheeks. Worst timing ever. Great bloke. Soft coach. Worst Locker-Room Ever. Disaster.

The only hold-over from those years is Travis Outlaw. Fitting name. He was a straight-to-the-pros in that last playoff team, so it is suprising he didn't fall foul in that locker-room. Maybe his upbringing with his father being assistant chief of police helped. Now six years later he is having a career-year as the 6th Man.

Portland. Rip City Uprise.

Let's Over-Celebrate by Running It Up

What is the obsession with pockets of America about Professional Sport Teams "Running Up The Score"?
What a bizarre issue. How is this even a talking point?
It's like being in school and the teacher tells you to dumb it down a bit, so the other students won't get upset.
Shut up. Play some D. Earn your money. Stop being clowned. It's on you. It's not on the winning team. They are doing their job, you are not!
Don't run out the clock. Don't take a knee. Don't let the shot-clock expire. You are robbing the paying fan. They didn't come to see so-called "sportsmanship". They came to see a game.
This infatuation to be fair and equal just creates a faux playing field. If my team is up 50, I want them to continue to press. Go for the kill. Hammer the nail into the coffin. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen. Or [insert] your own cliche.

Let's go on a tangent to finish. Over-celebrating. What the fuck is that? Treat it like you have been there before. Fuck that! Sport is emotional. Why bottle-up that emotion? Do you feel me? Why are parts of the media trying to turn athletes into robots? Man, this shit angers me. If you are happy, be happy. If you are angry, be angry. As we learnt from Seinfeld, if you bottle-up emotion - "Serenity Now. Insanity Later."
Just let athletes be people. They are human, you know.

The surly Tiger stalks in the woods.

It's story time people. Don't worry, it's a short story.
There was once a young Tiger, and he became the king of the woods. He wasn't like the previous kings, he was different. Previous kings were lions, but the new century rung in the new era. Most were scared of him because he was different. The lions didn't want to challenge him, so they let him be. He became so powerful, he became THE woods and the lions became irrelevant.
Welcome to golf in the new Century. Golf = Tiger Woods. Tiger Woods = Golf.
The media and sponsors have created a monster for sales and quick money. Tiger is THE story, whether he is playing or not.

So I will join into that game. The Master 2009. He didn't win.
I'll start this off saying, I was a big Tiger supporter early on. His amateur treble was totally out-of-this-world, and had so much passion, and partially opened up golf to another part of America! But fast forward to the present, and he is what's wrong with America. He sold his soul for money, truck-loads of money! He has become a cyborg because he is protecting his image for his sponsors, so he can get his cash. Back those trucks up. Sure there is the rare show of emotion, ie. the death of his father. It is tough, though. Tiger is in a win-win situation, but also a lose-lose situation. I'll accept that.
When Tiger and Phil started their early rally on the front 9, I felt myself pulling for Phil. I'm not a Phil fan, but that's another story. Both fell short, but it was definitely a thrill. Their post-round interviews, Tiger acts like a surly little mo-fo. Sure you are a competitor, the best I have seen in your sport in my life-time but c'mon, grow up. Phil was personable. He made me like him more. Tiger gave me nothing.
In a sport which is overtly racist, it is, the powers that be have gone out of their way to show they are with him. They want their cut of the profits. Cynical, of couse.
Let's say, Tiger Woods is a young fit white fella, and his name is Jim Smyth. He won the amateur treble and went to Stanford and to date has won 14 Majors. Jim wouldn't be an industry, he would definitely be a rich and famous athlete. It's called over-compensation. It the whiteys walking on egg-shells, feeling bad on what their ancestors have created and then trying to correct it, but ultimately it is flawed. I want to live in a world where one person = one person, no matter what race, sex, money or whatever. Where is the reset button? I would hit that mother-fucker in a second.

Let's go on a tangent, to a Tiger stat that has the WOW! factor. Tiger has never come from behind at a Major on Sunday to win. To simplify, Tiger trailing after Round 3 = no Major Title. It doesn't matter what he does in the other events, as Golf like Tennis is a sport driven by the Majors. The other events, if you are the top in those sports, only serve to pad your bank account. Your legacy lays with the Majors.
I know Tiger has won 14 Majors(!!) by the age of 33, and will surely pass Jack's record and see it disappear in the rear-view mirror. By winning 14 Majors it reduces the times when you are trailing, but a player who has been built up to a God-like creation, he hasn't once resurrected (being Easter and all) himself on Sunday to win. What's doing with that? Where is the competitor in him. He has made many rallies, ie. today but they have all come up short. Missing In Action: Sunday Tiger. In the end, he is just human.
However he is totally the bizzaro Greg Norman. Greg won the Grand Slam in 1986. That is, if Majors were 3 Round events. Tiger has to be the best closer ever. He makes Dennis Eckersley looks amateurish.

Let's get to few other quick Golf/Tiger tidbits.
So with Tiger ringing in a new era, the clones followed. Many young fit golfers came to the fore. There was going to be a revolution in the sport, but to date all have basically fallen short, way short. Anybody, Adam Scott. It's the next Michael Jordan curse. Who's got next? Not clones. Elite athletes don't follow, they create. Who won the Masters this year? A rotund, 39 year-old. Who did he beat? A guy leading the grey-headed brigade with a paunch and a sturdy bloke from Texas. I could do some research, and check recent Major winners not named Tiger, and I'm sure a similar result wouldn't be a rare thing.
Golf might evolve, but it ain't happening anytime soon. Golf is not about muscles and fitness. Tiger happens to about that. Golf is about specific skills. Tiger is also about that.

On on a finishing note, what's up with Golf WAG's. Talk about clones. They are plastics. Young or old, they are over-made up blonde women. Snotty nose bitches. That's what I think when I see them. Sure, they might be loving women, but that's my snap judgement of the day. A lot of the golfers are playing out of their league. I guess money does that.

I'm out.

Big Blue Calipari

I would Photoshop him blue, but I have no idea about that stuff.
Anyways I just can't shake John Calipari moving to Kentucky, much like I have trouble shaking Memphis choking (yes, choking) away the Championship Game last year. Mario Chalmers' 3 to force OT (and then the inevitable collapse) was a dagger that took a while to overcome. I thought I was over that, and now!
Calipari's move has instantly decimated Memphis' program (and the city), in which it will take years to recover. I don't blame any of the "players" in this mess. Calipari was a big fish in a small pond. In the current climate he was the perfect salesman for the job. He was the program. Memphis went all-in with the coach. They needed to. And then they lost, literally and figuratively.
The root of the problem is the BCS (and Conference-USA). C-USA was once the much under-rated Basketball Conference before Louisville, Cincinnati and Marquette bolted to the BCS and left Memphis to rule the roost. And they squeezed everything out of it. They were the little engine that could. They were in a unique position.
In the end, all the cotton money from the South wasn't enough keep the coach and won't be enough to woo another big name coach. Memphis went from a major program to a mid-major in the blink of an eye.
On a side note, I don't know what's going on in Memphis. Local media report they spoke to Tim Floyd. National media has no mention of it. National media report Memphis approached Bruce Pearl, but we hear they did not speak. Memphis hierarchy seems to be confused, or punch drunk.
People outside Memphis don't give fuck, and that's what's wrong. I'm not telling everybody to care about the program. It's just the rich raping the poor. Nobody blinks an eye. The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.
It's simple, America heart is flawed.

My definitions

NFL:
Where Aussie Rules players retire. Let's call it their 401K.
Steriods (and the like). Of course not. LOL.
Where a kicker wins games, but gets no respect.
NBA:
Where Luc Longely threepeats.
Where Brian Cardinal gets $24+ million.
Where the African-American (and the occasional white stiff, see above) C.T.C.
MLB:
Endless season.
Too many irrelevant games for irrelevant teams.
Where Hispanics have taken over.
NHL:
Hockey. WTF?
Where Europeans come to North America to profit.
BTW Miracle on Ice, who cares.
NASCAR:
Rednecks. They don't own computers. I hope:-)
NCAA:
Where us Aussies get a free ride from Americans. Suckas.
ESPN:
Easy to bitch about. We call it the Tall-Poppy Syndrome. Haters.
BCS Conferences:
Any country run this way, America would invade and (attempt) to take over.
Biggest money grab in sports.
The rich rape the poor. See Kentucky. See Memphis. I don't blame Kentucky. They just playing within the guidelines.
Unfair fucking practices!
Kobe:
How easy we forget. Puh-lease.
A perfect example of a great publicist.
Great baller.
Barry Bonds:
Misunderstood. Scapegoat. Far from perfect.
Bud Selig:
Turns blind eye. Makes money.
NCAA Play-In game:
The Opening Round game. C'mon.
Stupid.
BCS:
Computers + Sports = bullshit.
Sports live in the grey. They are played. There is a winner and a loser.
Computers live in the black and white.
Comparing teams who play completely different schedules. Epic fail.
Have a fucking playoff, you douche-bags.
NFL Rosters:
50+ players/roster, but only 11 on the field. It's a joke to anybody outside America.
It's all over-goddamn specialisation. Iron Man football is the way football is meant to played. Man up, you pussies.
Pre-Season Polls:
Fun, but potential coach-killers.
MLB Stats:
Get over them, you old fogies. Records are meant to be broken.
Every era is tainted. Don't hate on the now. Babe never played against a black man.
The White QB:
Unathletic QB's excelling by playing the system of the white coach. Should become a thing of past with evolution the coach (but that's another story).
Super Bowl:
More glitz and glamour than sport.
Focus is more entertainment than the game.
Not the way sport should be.
Tiger Woods:
Over-rated. Great player, but he's not a fucking God.
He is corporate America. Not good.
Hello, he is half Thai too.

The Beginning

Welcome.
The wife told me I should start this. I guess she's bored of all the sport talk.
I got no idea about this, so I'll learn on the run. It's gonna be ugly for awhile (or longer, whatever).

Let's get to some basics -
This blog will be rants, tirades, snap judgements or whatever is on my mind with little to no factual evidence or research. The way sports should be viewed. No over analysing here.
Nobody is perfect. Everybody is flawed. Let private lives be private, unless they adversely affect somebody else. Hello Kobe. This is no US Weekly (for Aussies, it's no NW).
I play favourites. I'm not a sports atheist.
I'm unapologetic. I write what's on my mind. If I offend somebody, deal with it. We can't agree 100% of the time. It's not attack on you. Simple, if you don't like it don't read it.